Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Only in dreams


I stood in the middle of the room with a bucket in my hand while everyone else ran from one room to the next, covering their heads with their hands and crouching to avoid something that I couldn't see. They would point and yell, then run into the next room to escape. Each time they pointed I would look, but by then it was gone. Everyone kept pointing and shouting, "Look, look, look!" but when I looked there was nothing there.

They all ducked together to avoid the apparent swooping flight of the bat, but no matter how hard I looked or how many lights I turned on, there was nothing. I thought I could hear it squeak, but amongst all the noise it was difficult to tell. If I listened closely, I could hear the rustling of wings, or maybe I was listening too hard and imagined it.

A lamp hit the floor as they ran into the kitchen, looking back over their shoulders to the living room where I stood. It must be close. I stood up on a chair to be closer to the ceiling and then maybe I could see or hear it. I put my arms out to try to block its flight and keep it in the living room. By waving the bucket, I hoped to knock it from the air. The curtains might have moved, so I turned my attention to the window. Just then, shouts came from the kitchen and I realized it was not in the living room at all.

I put the bucket down. If I couldn't see it, I couldn't catch it. I swung open the front door and propped the screen door open. Suddenly, everyone cheered as nothing flew out the door and left us alone.

********

I also had another weird dream about trying to help our cat escape our house and gain her freedom, but I don't remember much about that one except that she kept coming back. She would, too, that cat is really dumb.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

More old photos

Cynthia, 2001. My sofa was actually louder than my guitar.

Summer of 2001 when Cynthia and I were dating.

Me, self-portrait, age 9.

Friday, February 8, 2013

Nom, nom, nom

Ever since I was a kid, I have always liked the Little Debbie "Be My Valentine" snack cakes. Even though they taste sort of like candle wax and never seem to go bad (much like Twinkies), I still like 'em. My mom bought a box of them for me and my brother one year and I have picked up a box of them every February since.



I stopped at HyVee this week to pick up a box and man, are they good. They are a strange mix of nasty and tasty at the same time, but the tasty part wins out. I've never cared about the nutritional value of these things (because obviously if you are buying snack cakes you're not concerned about frivolous things like nutrition), but for some reason I happened to look at the panel on the back of the box and wow, when it comes to making really unhealthy junk food, Little Debbie doesn't mess around.

The cakes in the box come in clear plastic packages of 2 and they are fairly small. The serving size is for both of those little cakes and the Nutrition Facts panel boasts some impressive numbers. For calories, you get 290 and for sugar, you get a generous 27g to keep your heart buzzing along. I can hardly sit still just thinking about all that sugar. Sure, you could just eat one cake and save the other for later and that would cut the scariness in half, but who would really do that? I mean, c'mon, if you open the package you're gonna eat that second one.



If you think about it (and do a little research), that's more sugar than you'll get from a whole bowl of Frosted Flakes. More than a bowl of Fruit Loops, too. Which raises the question: why would you bother with a bowl of sugary cereal when you can just eat a couple Little Debbie snack cakes? It would save time and milk AND would result in an even stronger sugar buzz. No downside there. Another important note: if you're worried that you might accidentally ingest some vitamins, just read a little farther down the panel: there's a big "0%" next to everything that matters. You're all set!