Will a MacBook Pro stop bullets?

Cynthia's Dell laptop is feeble and dying and needs to be put to rest, so I've been keeping an eye out for a replacement for her. Not replacing Cynthia, I mean replacing her laptop. ANYWAY, I spotted a deal on craigslist yesterday for a MacBook Pro that an Iowa student is selling because the WiFi on it started flaking out. It's got an ethernet port, so it can connect to the internet that way until we get the WiFi fixed. Cynthia mostly keeps her laptop on her desk at home and doesn't really carry it around, so a repair may not even be necessary.

I got a hold of the dude who was selling the MacBook and he gave me his address in Iowa City so that I could stop by on my lunch break and check it out (since I work in Iowa City). If you're not familiar with Iowa City, it has a reputation for being kind of a snooty place for being a small town in the middle of Iowa. (Apologies to anyone from Iowa City reading this. If you're cool enough to be reading my blog, then you obviously are immune to the uppity vibe there. ;) It's a town full of pseudo-intellectuals as well as a handful of truly smart people. The signs posted on roads entering Iowa City indicating that nuclear weapons are prohibited by city ordinance give some indication of the ridiculousness you should expect there. Not that I usually bring my nukes to work with me, but the fact that I have to be told not to bring them puts me out.

The address that I drove to turned out to be a large campus of apartment complexes in an area that stood in stark contrast with the rest of the town. Lots of people wandered aimlessly around in the middle of the road glaring at anyone who passed by and Caddys with oversized rims filled the parking lots. Each apartment had its own entrance – sort of like an old motel – and some had broken windows. There were broken bicycles and trash scattered about. There were people everywhere; not going anywhere or doing anything, just standing around watching. It felt like they were all waiting for something, it was very strange. It was very quiet, except for a couple of people a block away yelling at each other and the faint thump of music from an apartment nearby.

After parking the car, I walked along a sidewalk between two buildings as I looked for the apartment number that MacBook Dude had given me. A door swung open and a Muslim woman with a scarf around her head stood in the doorway and looked at me as if I was expected. She closed the door again after I walked by. A guy across the courtyard got up and quickly went inside. If this were a movie, I think this is about the part where the shooting starts.

I ducked around the corner and saw the apartment number I was looking for. Of course, it was almost the very last apartment and on the side of the building facing away from the parking lot. MacBook Dude was friendly, which made him seem out of place. The laptop turned out to be as described and worked fine, so I paid for it and began the scenic trek back. A group of guys standing along the sidewalk stopped talking and all turned and glared as I walked toward the car which made me wonder, Will a MacBook Pro stop bullets? It wouldn't even be a problem if I would have been allowed to bring a nuke with me. Thanks for that, Iowa City.

10 years

I wrote this for our 10th anniversary... just in time for our 11th anniversary. Yeah, it took me a while to write this, mostly because I kept deleting it since the early versions had problems. It had minor little things wrong with it; hardly anything rhymed.

Anyway, I wrote this for Cynthia as I remembered all the good times we've had in our marriage and how we've been able to make the most of the ups and downs and have fun through it all. It has been an awesome 11 years and I wouldn't trade it for anything:


2001
We watched the stars, danced together, drove broken cars

didn't have much, but we were so in love

a change of jobs, then a change of life

in this year we became husband and wife

this year went so fast

2002
A snow storm, spaghetti, and a house that wouldn't warm

didn't have much, but we were so in love

long walks around the lake, staying up late making plans

happy memories holding hands
this year went so fast

2003
We stood on mountains, took pictures, carved pumpkins

didn't have much, but we were so in love

watched movies together, laughed at our jokes

rode sleds down the frozen slopes

this year went so fast

2004
Painted the house, made our own music, chased a flying mouse

didn't have much, but we were so in love

a welcome surprise, what would it bring

everything would change before next spring

this year went so fast

2005
A banner year, a baby girl, memories that we hold dear

didn't have much, but we were so in love

no more lazy saturdays sleeping in

our noisy kid will always win

this year went so fast

2006
Another change; new house, new town, new friends
didn't have much, but we were so in love
for better for worse we stood together
and wished our time would last forever
this year went so fast

2007
Christmas and birthdays, photographs of the holidays
didn't have much, but we were so in love
funny stories get better each time they're told
grilling feasts out in the cold
this year went so fast

2008
We will never forget; a new baby girl in a town soaking wet
didn't have much, but we were so in love
a full house now, but they don't outnumber us yet
how much noisier can this place get?
this year went so fast

2009
A summer at home, new jobs, another year flown
didn't have much, but we were so in love
swimming at the pool, trips to the park
sitting out on the porch after dark
this year went so fast

2010
Flying kites in the sun, playing at the park with space to run
didn't have much, but we were so in love
reading the same books over and over forever
will our kids get tired of dog parties... ever?
this year went so fast

2011
Do you remember it all? there's so much to recall
don't have much, but we're so in love
laughter, tears, the good and the bad
these are the best days we've ever had
10 years have gone so fast

Better days

This car has seen 'em...

Two flat tires and no license plates, this car was at the end of its road. The doors were unlocked so I got in to take some pictures and... oh WOW. What is that smell?! I'm pretty sure there's a dead body somewhere in there. Face-melting stench aside, this car would be cool if someone restored it.

Palisades-Kepler

Yesterday we went to Palisades-Kepler park. Really cool park that almost makes you forget you're still in Iowa...

We saw a gigantic spider. Alright, it wasn't that big, but if I zoom in close enough it looks scary...

Who killed Laura Palmer?

It has been way too long since I lasted posted on here, but I have been so busy. Too busy. I sort of feel like I'm drowning, I can't keep up with it all. It's not a good feeling.

A montage of dreams:

• I went to a wedding shower (which traditionally exclude dudes) and it turned out to really be a shower. We went into a large room with water spouts on the ceiling and everyone started taking their clothes off. I've always been sort of curious about wedding showers and now I am not.
• I posed as a realtor and tried selling homes to people without the owner's consent. All I did was walk the streets until I saw a house that looked nice and then I would wait for someone to come along so that I could give them my impromptu sales pitch. It was pointless, but it worked surprisingly well.
• There was the dream where I couldn't close my eyes no matter how hard I tried. That was disturbing. A 20s or 30s cartoony guy smoking a cigar would show up and start laughing each time I tried to close my eyes. He looked a lot like some old drawings I've seen of the man in the moon.
• In the most recent dream, I stood with a group of people at the top of a long wooden stairway looking down. None of us wanted to walk down the stairs for some reason, and we all stood around trying to convince each other to go first because we were all too chicken to take the first step. It was a dark stairway with a red carpet runner and we couldn't see the bottom. I finally realized that if I didn't go, no one would, so I took one step. Once I took that step, I discovered that I wouldn't be able to stop or go back, so I had to keep going. That's all I can remember from that one.

Also, I got out the guitar and played for a while last night. Ah... guitar. It's been so long since I actually played it, aside from Tuesday nights and Sunday mornings. It felt great to play whatever popped into my head. No one was home, so I cranked the amp and played it like it's meant to be played.

So there's my post for now. Don't that beat all? (another great old timey phrase)

Another dream

It was winter and I was the only snowplow mechanic in town. I was also apparently the only English-speaking person in town, which was weird. The family I lived with spoke German and Polish(?) and did all the talking for me. Whenever anyone came over, they would talk and gesture toward me, but I had no idea what was going on.

In my dream, it kept snowing and snowing and the snowplows were what kept the roads open and the town functioning. Apparently being a snowplow driver was a big deal and the drivers had sort of a celebrity status in the small town. Being a snowplow mechanic was also a big deal and everyone seemed to think I was somebody. It was kinda weird, but I didn't mind all the friendly waves and nods every time I went somewhere. It was a bit like being the roadie for a rock band, except better.

Each day I went out into the cold and walked through the snow to the plow barn. I remember coming home at lunch a few times, until I finally realized that the only thing the family that I lived with ate each day was sauerkraut. JUST sauerkraut. I brought my own lunches after that. Strange all the miniscule details this dream had.

Also, I had no clue how to fix snowplows, I just wore overalls and carried a greasy toolbox.

Unplugged

On April 18th, a very close friend of mine passed away. My Mac Pro tower went to be with Steve Jobs after a short battle with memory loss. I don't think it was in any pain; it just froze up and then displayed a blank white screen. On the plus side, an Apple tech was able to fix it and bring it back. Two weeks and $683 later it is working fine as if nothing ever happened. My life has been changed forever, though.

The first 24 hours after it died, I went through withdrawal wondering about all the emails I was getting that I couldn't read and agonizing over the senior portraits that I had just shot that I couldn't finish until it was fixed. I'm a news junkie, too, so the sudden disconnect from the outside world really hurt. Plus, there were so many other time-waster things that I had grown accustomed to doing on the computer and then I was left with nothing to do but use my brain (which I am not accustomed to).

I was left with lots of time to read books, sit on the front porch, stare at the neighbors (in a really creepy, unhealthy sort of way), and daydream about what the world would be like if some bands didn't exist. Like, what if I could travel back in time and assassinate a bunch of bands to prevent them from ever recording crappy, formulaic, middle-of-the-road rock? I would start by taking out the obvious bands like Creed, Nickelback, and Puddle of Mudd. And I couldn't just stop there, I mean, that leaves Pearl Jam, Limp Bizkit, and many others. Er, maybe not everyone in Pearl Jam, just Eddie Vedder.

This brings up a question: by altering the past this way, how would that affect the present? I would assume that after preventing these awful bands from unleashing their horrible music on society, we would all find ourselves here in 2012 as incredibly smart supermodel millionaires. How? I dunno, but I imagine that's how it would pan out.

Anyway, the things mentioned above are a small sampling of what my brain does when it is not silenced by a computer. It's been a rough couple of weeks and I'm so glad to be back online.